TOEFL Write an Email Sample Responses

What does a high-scoring TOEFL Write an Email response actually look like? And just as importantly—what does a low-scoring one look like?

It’s one thing to read the ETS scoring rubric and see phrases like “effective sentence variety” or “an accumulation of errors in sentence structure.” It’s another thing entirely to see those descriptions in action. In this guide, we’ll show you a sample response at every score level—from a Score 5 all the way down to a Score 0—all written for the same prompt. For each one, we’ll break down exactly why it earned its score and what separates it from the levels above and below.

By the end, you’ll have a much clearer picture of what ETS is actually looking for—and where your own writing might fall on the scale.

Why Study Scored TOEFL Write an Email Responses?

Reading sample responses at different score levels does something that no amount of rubric-reading can do on its own: it calibrates your judgment. When you can look at a response and say, “That’s a 3 because the elaboration is thin and the register is off,” you’re building the same evaluative skill you need to improve your own writing.

Here’s why that matters:

• You learn to self-assess. After you write a practice response, you can compare it against these samples and get a realistic sense of where you stand. Are you closer to the 4 or the 3? That tells you what to work on next.
• You see what separates score levels. The jump from a 3 to a 4 isn’t about making fewer typos—it’s about stronger elaboration, better word choice, and more consistent register. These samples make those differences concrete.
• You complement AI feedback. A Magoosh TOEFL Premium plan gives you unlimited AI-powered feedback on your writing, and that’s incredibly useful for targeted practice. But being able to evaluate your own work—without waiting for external feedback—makes you a stronger, more independent writer. Both skills work together.

Pro tip: After reading through the samples below, try writing your own response to this prompt. Then compare it against the scored examples and ask yourself: which score level is my response closest to? That exercise alone can be more valuable than reading several rubric descriptions.

The Prompt

All six responses below are written for the same prompt. Here it is:

You are the captain of your university’s debate team. Your team has been invited to compete in a regional tournament next month, but you need funding from the university to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The deadline to register for the tournament is in two weeks.

Write an email to Dean Ramirez. In your email, do the following:

• Describe the tournament and explain why it is important.
• Provide a breakdown of the estimated costs.
• Request approval before the registration deadline.

Write as much as you can and in complete sentences.

Your Response:

To: Dean Ramirez
Subject: Tournament funding request

This is a requesting help or action task—you’re writing to an authority figure (a dean) to ask for something specific (funding). That means you’ll want a formal, polite register and clear, well-organized content that addresses all three bullet points.

Now let’s see how six different writers handled it.

Score 5: A Fully Successful Response

Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.

Why this is a Score 5

Communicative purpose and elaboration. This response addresses all three bullet points thoroughly. The tournament isn’t just named—it’s described as “one of the most competitive events in the region,” and the writer explains the specific benefit: “valuable experience while raising the university’s profile among peer institutions.” The cost breakdown is detailed and itemized. The deadline request is specific (March 20th) and includes a follow-up offer. Nothing is left vague.

Syntax and vocabulary. The language is precise and varied. Notice the mix of sentence types—one adds detail about the date and location (“which will be held on April 12th in Boston”), another builds on the previous idea (“while raising the university’s profile”), and another uses a polite request form (“I would greatly appreciate it if you could…”). The vocabulary is strong throughout: “peer institutions,” “approximately,” “broken down as follows.” This isn’t a list of simple sentences—it’s fluent, natural writing.

Social conventions. The register is exactly right for writing to a dean: formal and respectful, but not stiff. “Dear Dean Ramirez” is the appropriate greeting. “I would greatly appreciate it if you could…” is polite without being over-the-top. The closing (“Thank you for your time and consideration” / “Sincerely”) matches the tone perfectly. The email flows naturally from greeting to body to closing—it reads like a real professional email.

Language accuracy. There are two minor spelling errors here—”particpating” and “convenence”—but they’re clearly typos, the kind any competent writer might produce under timed conditions. The rubric at Score 5 explicitly allows for “common typos or common misspellings.” Everything else—grammar, word forms, punctuation—is correct.

Pro tip: Notice that this response is about 115 words. You don’t need to write a novel—you need to write enough to address each bullet point with real substance. Quality and completeness matter far more than length.

Score 4: A Generally Successful Response

Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.

Why this is a Score 4

Communicative purpose and elaboration. All three bullet points are addressed, but the elaboration is thinner than in the Score 5. Compare how the two responses describe the tournament’s importance. The Score 5 explains a concrete benefit (“raising the university’s profile among peer institutions”). This response says “It is a big opportunity” and “It would be a great exposure”—both are vague and generic. The cost breakdown is present but less precise (“hotel room” instead of specifying how many rooms and nights). The request is clear and well-handled, though.

Syntax and vocabulary. The language is adequate but less varied. The first paragraph has three short sentences in a row—”It is a big opportunity for us. It would be a great exposure for our university.” This reads as choppy compared to the Score 5, which connects ideas more smoothly within longer sentences. The vocabulary gets the job done but doesn’t show the same precision or range.

Social conventions. The register is appropriate. “Dear Dean Ramirez” and “Best regards” are solid choices. The offer to provide more information (“Please let me know if you need any additional information”) shows good email etiquette.

Language accuracy. There are a few errors: “Northest” (should be “Northeast”), “a great exposure” (this doesn’t sound quite natural—in everyday English, we’d say “great exposure” without “a”), and “hotel room” where “hotel rooms” would fit better given the context. There’s also a missing comma before “so” in the third paragraph. None of these errors block understanding, but they add up to a response that’s noticeably less polished than the Score 5.

Score 3: A Partially Successful Response

Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.

Why this is a Score 3

Communicative purpose and elaboration. The good news is that all three bullet points are addressed—the writer clearly understands the task. But the details are thin. The tournament’s importance is described as “many university teams will be there,” which tells us it’s popular but not why that matters for this team or university. The cost paragraph gives a total but no real breakdown, and phrases like “I am not sure of exact amount” and “pretty sure it is close to the number” weaken the writer’s case instead of strengthening it. Adding specific numbers and confident language would help a lot here.

Syntax and vocabulary. The range is noticeably more limited. Most sentences follow the same simple pattern without much variety. The phrase “make good name” doesn’t sound natural—in English, we’d say “make a good name” or, better, “build our reputation.” Words like “really important” and “pretty sure” get the point across but are vague, and they make the email sound more casual than it should for writing to a dean.

Social conventions. The greeting and closing are fine, but the body doesn’t quite match that same level of formality. Phrases like “really important” and “pretty sure” sound a bit too casual for an email to a dean. And “I am not sure of exact amount but I am pretty sure it is close to the number” comes across as uncertain—when you’re requesting funding, you want to sound confident and well-prepared, even if your numbers are estimates. A small shift in tone here would make a real difference.

Language accuracy. There are noticeable errors that go beyond simple typos. “Had been invited” should be “has been invited” (the tense doesn’t fit here), “to be in regional tournament” is missing “a” or “the,” and “Boston, the next month” has an extra article and comma. The spelling errors—”competetion,” “aound,” “transporation,” “regisration,” “aprove”—suggest the writer isn’t fully comfortable with these words yet, rather than just typing quickly. These errors don’t make the response impossible to understand, but they do add up and hold it back from a higher score.

Pro tip: If you find your writing looks similar to this Score 3, focus on two things: first, replace vague language (“really important,” “pretty sure”) with specific details. Second, practice spelling high-frequency words: “competition,” “registration,” “transportation,” “approve,” “approximately.”

Score 2: A Mostly Unsuccessful Response

Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.

Why this is a Score 2

Communicative purpose and elaboration. The writer does attempt all three bullet points, which shows an understanding of the task. However, none are developed with enough detail. The tournament is just “tournamen next month”—no name, no location, no specifics. The explanation of importance (“show our skill and compete with other univercity”) is very general. The costs are a single number with no breakdown—”maybe $2,400 for everythings”—which doesn’t demonstrate deep planning and thought to the reader. The request is there, but “please can you give us the money” is more direct than the situation calls for.

Syntax and vocabulary. The sentences are short and follow the same pattern throughout, without much variety. The vocabulary is basic, and some words aren’t quite right. “Importancy” isn’t a standard English word—the correct form is “importance.” “Make the register” doesn’t sound natural here—the writer likely means “register” or “complete the registration.” Expanding the range of sentence types and word choices would strengthen this response.

Social conventions. The greeting is a good choice (“Dear Dean Ramirez”), but the rest of the email doesn’t quite match that level of formality. “Please can you give us the money” is too direct for a funding request to a dean—a softer phrasing like “I would appreciate your support” would work better here. There’s also no closing sentence before the sign-off, which makes the ending feel abrupt. A warmer, more polished tone throughout would help.

Language accuracy. There are several grammar and spelling issues that make the email harder to follow. The verb doesn’t match the subject in a couple of places: “our team are” (should be “our team is”), “It have” (should be “It has”), and “for everythings” (should be “everything”). There are also spelling errors: “captin,” “tournamen,” “univercity.” And “importancy” should be “importance.” Missing articles add to the difficulty—”captin of debate team” should be “captain of the debate team.” These errors build up and make it harder for the reader to focus on the message.

Score 1: An Unsuccessful Response

Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.

Why this is a Score 1

Communicative purpose and elaboration. The writer makes an effort to mention the tournament and the need for funding, which shows some awareness of the task. However, there’s very little detail—no tournament name, no location beyond “other city,” no explanation of why it matters, no cost information at all, and no specific deadline. To strengthen this, the writer would need to add their own details to each bullet point rather than staying at a very general level.

Syntax and vocabulary. The sentences are very short and incomplete, with a limited range of vocabulary. “We need money for go” isn’t a complete sentence, and “Need register soon” drops the subject (“we”) entirely. Every sentence follows the same short pattern. Building longer, more complete sentences—and connecting ideas to each other—would make a big difference here.

Social conventions. The greeting (“Hello” with no name) and the sign-off (“Thank you” with no closing phrase or sender name) are minimal. The email doesn’t have the structure or tone that a reader like Dean Ramirez would expect—there’s no sense of who’s writing or why the request matters. Adding a proper greeting, a brief introduction, and a polite closing would go a long way.

Language accuracy. There are several errors that make the message hard to follow. “Our debate team invited” is missing words—it should be “has been invited.” “Money for go” should be “money to go.” “tournament is in other city” is missing “the” and starts with a lowercase letter. “Importent” should be “important,” and “Please help us for funding” uses the wrong connecting word (should be “with funding”). Practicing these common patterns—especially verb forms and small connecting words—would help the most.

Score 0: No Scorable Response

Why this is a Score 0

At first glance, this might look like a real response—it has a greeting, it mentions the tournament, and the English is partially comprehensible. But look more closely: almost every word is copied directly from the prompt.

Compare “compete in a regional tournament next month, but you need funding from the university to cover travel and accommodation expenses” with the original prompt text. It’s nearly verbatim—and the writer didn’t even adjust the pronoun from “you” to “we” or “I.” The only original content is “I am writing to you about.”

The ETS rubric at Score 1 flags responses where “any coherent language is mostly borrowed from the stimulus.” A Score 0 goes further—there is essentially no original language here. The writer has not described the tournament in their own words, has not provided any cost breakdown, and has not made a request. None of the three bullet points are addressed with original content.

This is an important warning: copying from the prompt will not help your score. Even if the words are technically English and the sentences are partially grammatical, ETS is looking for your original ideas expressed in your own language. A short but genuine attempt will always score higher than a longer copy-paste.

Pro tip: If you’re running out of time or feel stuck, write even just two or three original sentences addressing the bullet points. A genuine but brief response will earn more credit than copied text, no matter how polished the copied text looks.

Key Takeaways

Here’s a summary of what separates each score level and what to focus on if you’re aiming to move up:

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need perfect grammar to get a Score 5?

No. The rubric explicitly allows for “common typos or common misspellings” at the Score 5 level—the kind of minor errors that any competent writer might make under timed conditions. Look at our Score 5 sample: it has two small typos (“particpating” and “convenence”) and still earns the top score. What matters at Score 5 is the overall quality of your ideas, vocabulary, sentence variety, and register—not flawless mechanics.

How long should my Write an Email response be?

Aim for 100-120 words. That’s enough to address all three bullet points with two or more sentences each, plus a greeting, opening sentence, and closing. Our Score 5 response is about 115 words. But length alone doesn’t determine your score—a short, focused response with strong content will outscore a longer response full of vague filler or repeated ideas.

What’s the biggest difference between a Score 3 and a Score 4?

Two things stand out. First, elaboration quality: a Score 4 gives adequate details to support each point, while a Score 3 tends to state ideas without developing them (“It is really important” vs. explaining specifically why). Second, register consistency: a Score 3 often slips into overly casual language (“really important,” “pretty sure”) that doesn’t match the audience, while a Score 4 maintains a more appropriate tone throughout.

What’s Next?

Now that you’ve seen what each score level looks like, the best next step is to practice writing your own responses and compare them against these samples.

If you’re looking for more structure, check out our TOEFL Writing Templates and phrase menus guide—it gives you ready-to-use language for five different Write an Email task types, from making requests to navigating disagreements.

And when you’re ready for feedback on your own writing, Magoosh TOEFL Premium includes unlimited AI-powered scoring and feedback for Write an Email tasks. You can write as many practice responses as you want and get detailed, rubric-aligned feedback on each one—so you can see exactly where you’re scoring and what to improve.