{"id":2090,"date":"2015-08-20T09:00:22","date_gmt":"2015-08-20T16:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/?p=2090"},"modified":"2020-12-10T13:45:27","modified_gmt":"2020-12-10T21:45:27","slug":"sample-toefl-speaking-response-with-critique-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/sample-toefl-speaking-response-with-critique-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Sample TOEFL Speaking Response With Critique, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(<em><strong>EDITOR&#8217;S NOTE:<\/strong> This post refers to Speaking Task 5, a task that is no longer part of the exam after the <a href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-2019-format-changes-length-timing-scoring-and-preparation\/\">2019 TOEFL changes<\/a>. However, the focus of this post is on pacing and intonation in English speech, rather than the specific instructions and requirements of the old Task 5. So students may still find this post helpful.<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>In my <a href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-speaking-sample-response-with-critique-part-1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">previous post<\/a>, I showed you a sample Speaking Task 5 response from a student. (Thanks again to this young woman for letting us use her voice here on the blog!) To see a transcript of the Task 5 audio track she was responding to, <a href=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/magoosh.resources\/MagooshTOEFLSampleSpeakingTask5.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">go here<\/a>.\u00a0You can listen to the audio again below:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/218100270&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true\" width=\"550\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/center><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">(<a href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/david-recine-1\/sample-speaking-response-toefl-task-5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Link to audio clip<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p>Last time, we looked at some of the general ways the student could improve her speech, in terms of talking more slowly and improving her intonation. This time, we\u2019re going to get much more specific. I\u2019ll show you some specific parts of the student\u2019s response and explan how they could be changed.<\/p>\n<p>The examples appear below, with the time in the recording that they can be heard, my transcript of the student\u2019s words, and notes on the changes she should make. For some of this Magoosh student\u2019s lines, I have attached recordings of my own voice so that you can hear a corrected, native English accent version of what the student said. Let\u2019s get started!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>0:05 &#8220;Between&#8211; she has two options.&#8221; Here, it seems like the speaker abruptly changed her sentence structure. She was going to describe the situation using the word &#8220;between.&#8221; Then she suddenly decided to use much different wording. If you decide to completely change your wording mid-sentence, it&#8217;s much better to pause more slowly and naturally, and maybe use a verbal pause (such as &#8220;uh,&#8221; &#8220;um,&#8221; or &#8220;well&#8221;) as you change your wording. For an example of how such a change might work, listen to the following sound clip <a href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/david-recine-1\/speech-correction-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here <\/a>or below:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><center><iframe src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/218105525&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true\" width=\"550\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/center><br \/>\n&nbsp; <\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>0:07 &#8220;One ee&#8212; is either to go to (???) with her boyfriend&#8221; As I said in my last post, the student\u2019s stammering actually isn&#8217;t really a problem here. She started to say &#8220;either,&#8221; then quickly corrected herself to say &#8220;is either.&#8221; With only a minor change in wording, she doesn&#8217;t need to make a slow, clear correction or use verbal pauses. Listeners will be able to keep up with minor changes. However, it was really hard to understand that she was saying the girl in the conversation would go to &#8220;Brazil.&#8221; I was only sure she&#8217;d said &#8220;Brazil&#8221; when she said it a second time later in her response. Here, her accent combined with very fast speech is making her hard to understand.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"text-align: left;\">0:15 &#8220;Or actually&#8211; or help as a research assistant.&#8221; Here again, she made a significant change to the wording of the sentence, and changed things abruptly, with fast speech. This is not as big of a change as the one at 0:05 in the recording, so she doesn&#8217;t need to make the change as carefully or slowly. But she should slow her speech down at least a little, so her mid-sentence change in wording is easier to understand. To hear how this line could sound with slower speech, listen to my reading of the line <a href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/david-recine-1\/speech-correction-2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here<\/a>\u00a0or below:<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\n<center><iframe src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/218106360&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true\" width=\"550\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/center>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>0:26 &#8220;Because she can&#8211; even though the research that she&#8217;ll be performing is going to be&#8230;&#8221; Again, we see an abrupt change in wording&#8212; and this Magoosh subscriber speaks too quickly. Once again, listen to my corrected version of the speech <a href=\"https:\/\/soundcloud.com\/david-recine-1\/speaking-correction-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here<\/a> or below:<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\n<center><iframe src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/218106961&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false&amp;visual=true\" width=\"550\" height=\"150\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/center><br \/>\n&nbsp; <\/p>\n<li>0:33 &#8220;And uh- with&#8211; and has gotten some concrete material, solid material&#8221; This student clearly has a pretty good vocabulary and decent listening comprehension. But this is one instance where she does seem to make a vocabulary mistake. In the conversation she listened to, there is talk of putting something \u201cconcrete\u201d on a resume. This means putting something on a resume that indicates formal, useful experience. This Magoosh student\u2019s use of \u201cconcrete\u201d has no clear connection to the use of \u201cconcrete\u201d in the audio track. It\u2019s likely she is misunderstanding and misusing the word.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>0:40 &#8220;And with this basic information, she can actually (???) to find a real job.&#8221; Here, it\u2019s really hard to tell what word she said between the words &#8220;actually&#8221; and &#8220;to find.&#8221; She needs to enunciate more clearly&#8212; and as I said in my previous post, many of these problems with understandability could be solved if she simply spoke more slowly.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s it for the major &#8220;trouble spots.&#8221; Except some of the things I noted above, pronunciation is actually a strength for this student. Most of her pronunciation is very understandable. Even the times I can&#8217;t understand her, she would probably be understandable if she just spoke more slowly, and used a more native-like intonation.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s why this example and my corrections can be so useful to <em>you<\/em>, the reader. I listen to Speaking samples from Magoosh TOEFL students every day. So many of you have responses that could get high scores with a two easy changes: slower speech, and better use of the rules of <a href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/english-intonation-knowing-when-to-rise-and-fall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">English<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/english-intonation-knowing-when-to-rise-and-fall\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">intonation<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Thanks once more to the Magoosher who donated her recorded response to these two posts\u2014 I think this will help a lot of students!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(EDITOR&#8217;S NOTE: This post refers to Speaking Task 5, a task that is no longer part of the exam after the 2019 TOEFL changes. However, the focus of this post is on pacing and intonation in English speech, rather than the specific instructions and requirements of the old Task 5. So students may still find [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13618],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[13630],"class_list":["post-2090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-speaking"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v21.7 (Yoast SEO v21.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sample TOEFL Speaking Response With Critique, Part 2 - Magoosh Blog \u2013 TOEFL\u00ae\ufe0f Test<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/sample-toefl-speaking-response-with-critique-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sample TOEFL Speaking Response With Critique, Part 2\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(EDITOR&#8217;S NOTE: This post refers to Speaking Task 5, a task that is no longer part of the exam after the 2019 TOEFL changes. 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Additionally, he's helped students with TOEIC, PET, FCE, BULATS, Eiken, SAT, ACT, GRE, and GMAT.\r\n\r\nDavid has a BS from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and an MA from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. His work at Magoosh has been cited in<a href=\"https:\/\/scholar.google.com\/scholar?hl=en&amp;as_sdt=0%2C50&amp;q=Recine+magoosh&amp;btnG=\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> many scholarly articles<\/a>,<a href=\"https:\/\/minds.wisconsin.edu\/handle\/1793\/65479\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> his Master's Thesis<\/a> is featured on the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.readingwithpictures.org\/2013\/09\/research-highlight-teaching-english-language-learners-with-comics\/\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> Reading with Pictures<\/a> website, and he's presented at the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.witesol.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/2014-WITESOL-Program-FINAL-10-28-14.pdf\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> WITESOL (link to PDF)<\/a> and<a href=\"https:\/\/issuu.com\/interoff\/docs\/nafsaregionv_2014conference\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"> NAFSA<\/a> conferences. David has taught K-12 ESL in South Korea as well as undergraduate English and MBA-level business English at American universities. He has also trained English teachers in America, Italy, and Peru.\r\n\r\nCome join David and the Magoosh team on<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/channel\/UCra3KQoJlOP7RYwaCyH2qew\"> Youtube<\/a>,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MagooshEnglishLearning\"> Facebook<\/a>, and<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/magooshenglish\/?hl=en\"> Instagram<\/a>, or connect with him via<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/david-recine\/\"> LinkedIn<\/a>!"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/80"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2090"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2090\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2090"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=2090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}