{"id":13953,"date":"2026-03-09T10:30:08","date_gmt":"2026-03-09T17:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/?p=13953"},"modified":"2026-03-09T10:30:08","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T17:30:08","slug":"toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses\/","title":{"rendered":"TOEFL Write an Email Sample Responses"},"content":{"rendered":"<style>\n  @media (max-width: 768px) {\n    .table-responsive {\n      display: block;\n      width: calc(100vw - 50px);\n      max-width: calc(100vw - 50px);\n      overflow-x: auto;\n      -webkit-overflow-scrolling: touch;\n      margin-left: auto;\n      margin-right: auto;\n    }\n    .table-responsive table {\n      min-width: 500px;\n    }\n  }\n  .sample-response {\n    border-left: 4px solid #4D2079;\n    background: #f7f5fa;\n    padding: 1.2em 1.5em;\n    margin: 1em 0 1.5em 0;\n    border-radius: 6px;\n    font-family: Georgia, serif;\n    line-height: 1.7;\n  }\n  .sample-response .email-header {\n    margin-bottom: 0.8em;\n  }\n  .sample-response .email-header strong {\n    color: #555;\n  }\n  .sample-response .greeting,\n  .sample-response .signoff {\n    margin: 0.8em 0 0.2em 0;\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight {\n    position: relative;\n    cursor: help;\n    border-bottom: 2px dotted;\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight.good {\n    background-color: rgba(76, 175, 80, 0.15);\n    border-bottom-color: #4CAF50;\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight.improve {\n    background-color: rgba(255, 152, 0, 0.15);\n    border-bottom-color: #FF9800;\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight .tooltip-text {\n    visibility: hidden;\n    opacity: 0;\n    position: absolute;\n    bottom: 125%;\n    left: 50%;\n    transform: translateX(-50%);\n    background-color: #333;\n    color: #fff;\n    padding: 8px 12px;\n    border-radius: 6px;\n    font-size: 0.85em;\n    font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, \"Segoe UI\", Roboto, sans-serif;\n    line-height: 1.4;\n    width: 280px;\n    max-width: 90vw;\n    z-index: 100;\n    transition: opacity 0.2s;\n    box-shadow: 0 2px 8px rgba(0,0,0,0.2);\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight .tooltip-text::after {\n    content: \"\";\n    position: absolute;\n    top: 100%;\n    left: 50%;\n    margin-left: -5px;\n    border-width: 5px;\n    border-style: solid;\n    border-color: #333 transparent transparent transparent;\n  }\n  .tooltip-highlight:hover .tooltip-text,\n  .tooltip-highlight:focus .tooltip-text {\n    visibility: visible;\n    opacity: 1;\n  }\n  .tooltip-instruction {\n    font-size: 0.85em;\n    color: #888;\n    font-style: italic;\n    margin-bottom: 0.5em;\n  }\n  @media (max-width: 768px) {\n    .tooltip-highlight .tooltip-text {\n      position: fixed;\n      bottom: auto;\n      top: 50%;\n      left: 50%;\n      transform: translate(-50%, -50%);\n      width: 85vw;\n    }\n    .tooltip-highlight .tooltip-text::after {\n      display: none;\n    }\n  }\n<\/style>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader.jpg\" alt=\"person typing a TOEFL Write an Email response\" width=\"1200\" height=\"600\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5796\" srcset=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader-600x300.jpg 600w, https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader-768x384.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>What does a high-scoring TOEFL Write an Email response actually look like? And just as importantly\u2014what does a low-scoring one look like?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s one thing to read the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ets.org\/pdfs\/toefl\/writing-rubrics.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ETS scoring rubric<\/a> and see phrases like &#8220;effective sentence variety&#8221; or &#8220;an accumulation of errors in sentence structure.&#8221; It&#8217;s another thing entirely to see those descriptions in action. In this guide, we&#8217;ll show you a sample response at every score level\u2014from a <strong>Score 5<\/strong> all the way down to a <strong>Score 0<\/strong>\u2014all written for the same prompt. For each one, we&#8217;ll break down exactly why it earned its score and what separates it from the levels above and below.<\/p>\n<p>By the end, you&#8217;ll have a much clearer picture of what ETS is actually looking for\u2014and where your own writing might fall on the scale.<\/p>\n<div class=\"toc\">\n<p style=\"color: #4D2079; font-size:larger\"><strong>Table of Contents<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#why-study\">Why Study Scored TOEFL Write an Email Responses?<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#the-prompt\">The Prompt<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-5\">Score 5: A Fully Successful Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-4\">Score 4: A Generally Successful Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-3\">Score 3: A Partially Successful Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-2\">Score 2: A Mostly Unsuccessful Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-1\">Score 1: An Unsuccessful Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#score-0\">Score 0: No Scorable Response<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#takeaways\">Key Takeaways<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#faq\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#whats-next\">What&#8217;s Next?<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"why-study\">Why Study Scored TOEFL Write an Email Responses?<\/h2>\n<p>Reading sample responses at different score levels does something that no amount of rubric-reading can do on its own: it <strong>calibrates your judgment<\/strong>. When you can look at a response and say, &#8220;That&#8217;s a 3 because the elaboration is thin and the register is off,&#8221; you&#8217;re building the same evaluative skill you need to improve your own writing.<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s why that matters:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>You learn to self-assess.<\/strong> After you write a practice response, you can compare it against these samples and get a realistic sense of where you stand. Are you closer to the 4 or the 3? That tells you what to work on next.<\/li>\n<li><strong>You see what separates score levels.<\/strong> The jump from a 3 to a 4 isn&#8217;t about making fewer typos\u2014it&#8217;s about stronger elaboration, better word choice, and more consistent register. These samples make those differences concrete.<\/li>\n<li><strong>You complement AI feedback.<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/toefl.magoosh.com\/plans\">A Magoosh TOEFL Premium plan<\/a> gives you unlimited AI-powered feedback on your writing, and that&#8217;s incredibly useful for targeted practice. But being able to evaluate your own work\u2014without waiting for external feedback\u2014makes you a stronger, more independent writer. Both skills work together.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote style=\"border-left: 4px solid #4d2079; background: #F9FAFB; padding: 1em 1.2em; margin: 1em 0; border-radius: 6px; box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0,0,0,0.05);\">\n<p><strong>Pro tip:<\/strong> After reading through the samples below, try writing your own response to this prompt. Then compare it against the scored examples and ask yourself: which score level is my response closest to? That exercise alone can be more valuable than reading several rubric descriptions.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"the-prompt\">The Prompt<\/h2>\n<p>All six responses below are written for the same prompt. Here it is:<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"border-left: 4px solid #ddd; background: #f9f9f9; padding: 1em 1.2em; margin: 1em 0; border-radius: 6px;\">\n<p>You are the captain of your university&#8217;s debate team. Your team has been invited to compete in a regional tournament next month, but you need funding from the university to cover travel and accommodation expenses. The deadline to register for the tournament is in two weeks.<\/p>\n<p>Write an email to Dean Ramirez. In your email, do the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Describe the tournament and explain why it is important.<\/li>\n<li>Provide a breakdown of the estimated costs.<\/li>\n<li>Request approval before the registration deadline.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Write as much as you can and in complete sentences.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Your Response:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>This is a <strong>requesting help or action<\/strong> task\u2014you&#8217;re writing to an authority figure (a dean) to ask for something specific (funding). That means you&#8217;ll want a <strong>formal, polite register<\/strong> and clear, well-organized content that addresses all three bullet points.<\/p>\n<p>Now let&#8217;s see how six different writers handled it.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 5 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-5\">Score 5: A Fully Successful Response<\/h2>\n<p class=\"tooltip-instruction\">Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Dear Dean Ramirez,<\/p>\n<p>I am writing to request funding for the university debate team to compete in the <span class=\"tooltip-highlight good\" tabindex=\"0\">Northeast Regional Debate Tournament, which will be held on April 12th in Boston<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Specific details\u2014tournament name, date, and location\u2014immediately show the reader this is a real, well-researched request.<\/span><\/span>. This is one of the most competitive events in the region, and particpating would give our team <span class=\"tooltip-highlight good\" tabindex=\"0\">valuable experience while raising the university&#8217;s profile among peer institutions<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This explains WHY the tournament matters\u2014not just that it exists. This kind of elaboration is what separates a 5 from a 4.<\/span><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>We estimate the total costs will be approximately $2,400, broken down as follows: <span class=\"tooltip-highlight good\" tabindex=\"0\">$800 for van rental and gas, $1,200 for two hotel rooms for two nights, and $400 for the registration fee and meals<span class=\"tooltip-text\">A clear, itemized breakdown shows planning and makes the request more convincing.<\/span><\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Since the registration deadline is March 20th, <span class=\"tooltip-highlight good\" tabindex=\"0\">I would greatly appreciate it if you could let us know by then whether funding can be approved<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Polite, specific request tied to a deadline. The phrasing &#8220;I would greatly appreciate it if you could&#8230;&#8221; is formal without being stiff.<\/span><\/span>. I am happy to meet at your convenence to discuss this further.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for your time and consideration.<\/p>\n<p class=\"signoff\">Sincerely,<br \/>Jordan Chen<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 5<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Communicative purpose and elaboration.<\/strong> This response addresses all three bullet points thoroughly. The tournament isn&#8217;t just named\u2014it&#8217;s described as &#8220;one of the most competitive events in the region,&#8221; and the writer explains the specific benefit: &#8220;valuable experience while raising the university&#8217;s profile among peer institutions.&#8221; The cost breakdown is detailed and itemized. The deadline request is specific (March 20th) and includes a follow-up offer. Nothing is left vague.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Syntax and vocabulary.<\/strong> The language is precise and varied. Notice the mix of sentence types\u2014one adds detail about the date and location (&#8220;which will be held on April 12th in Boston&#8221;), another builds on the previous idea (&#8220;while raising the university&#8217;s profile&#8221;), and another uses a polite request form (&#8220;I would greatly appreciate it if you could&#8230;&#8221;). The vocabulary is strong throughout: &#8220;peer institutions,&#8221; &#8220;approximately,&#8221; &#8220;broken down as follows.&#8221; This isn&#8217;t a list of simple sentences\u2014it&#8217;s fluent, natural writing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social conventions.<\/strong> The register is exactly right for writing to a dean: formal and respectful, but not stiff. &#8220;Dear Dean Ramirez&#8221; is the appropriate greeting. &#8220;I would greatly appreciate it if you could&#8230;&#8221; is polite without being over-the-top. The closing (&#8220;Thank you for your time and consideration&#8221; \/ &#8220;Sincerely&#8221;) matches the tone perfectly. The email flows naturally from greeting to body to closing\u2014it reads like a real professional email.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Language accuracy.<\/strong> There are two minor spelling errors here\u2014&#8221;particpating&#8221; and &#8220;convenence&#8221;\u2014but they&#8217;re clearly typos, the kind any competent writer might produce under timed conditions. The rubric at Score 5 explicitly allows for &#8220;common typos or common misspellings.&#8221; Everything else\u2014grammar, word forms, punctuation\u2014is correct.<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"border-left: 4px solid #4d2079; background: #F9FAFB; padding: 1em 1.2em; margin: 1em 0; border-radius: 6px; box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0,0,0,0.05);\">\n<p><strong>Pro tip:<\/strong> Notice that this response is about 115 words. You don&#8217;t need to write a novel\u2014you need to write enough to address each bullet point with real substance. Quality and completeness matter far more than length.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 4 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-4\">Score 4: A Generally Successful Response<\/h2>\n<p class=\"tooltip-instruction\">Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Dear Dean Ramirez,<\/p>\n<p>I am writing because our debate team has been invited to the <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">Northest<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Spelling error\u2014should be &#8220;Northeast.&#8221; A small mistake, but it stands out in the first sentence.<\/span><\/span> Regional Tournament in Boston next month. <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">It is a big opportunity for us. It would be a great exposure for our university.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">These two short sentences are vague and choppy. Compare with the Score 5, which connects ideas more smoothly: &#8220;valuable experience while raising the university&#8217;s profile among peer institutions.&#8221; Also, &#8220;a great exposure&#8221; doesn&#8217;t sound natural\u2014we&#8217;d say &#8220;great exposure&#8221; without &#8220;a.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>The estimated costs are about $2,400 in total. This includes $800 for transportation, $1,200 for <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">hotel room<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Should be &#8220;hotel rooms&#8221; (plural)\u2014the team would need more than one room.<\/span><\/span> and $400 for registration and food.<\/p>\n<p>We need to register by March 20th so I would appreciate it if you could approve the funding before that date. <span class=\"tooltip-highlight good\" tabindex=\"0\">Please let me know if you need any additional information from me. I&#8217;m happy to meet in person or talk over the phone.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Good email etiquette\u2014offering to provide more information and suggesting ways to follow up shows professionalism.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"signoff\">Best regards,<br \/>Jordan Chen<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 4<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Communicative purpose and elaboration.<\/strong> All three bullet points are addressed, but the elaboration is thinner than in the Score 5. Compare how the two responses describe the tournament&#8217;s importance. The Score 5 explains a concrete benefit (&#8220;raising the university&#8217;s profile among peer institutions&#8221;). This response says &#8220;It is a big opportunity&#8221; and &#8220;It would be a great exposure&#8221;\u2014both are vague and generic. The cost breakdown is present but less precise (&#8220;hotel room&#8221; instead of specifying how many rooms and nights). The request is clear and well-handled, though.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Syntax and vocabulary.<\/strong> The language is adequate but less varied. The first paragraph has three short sentences in a row\u2014&#8221;It is a big opportunity for us. It would be a great exposure for our university.&#8221; This reads as choppy compared to the Score 5, which connects ideas more smoothly within longer sentences. The vocabulary gets the job done but doesn&#8217;t show the same precision or range.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social conventions.<\/strong> The register is appropriate. &#8220;Dear Dean Ramirez&#8221; and &#8220;Best regards&#8221; are solid choices. The offer to provide more information (&#8220;Please let me know if you need any additional information&#8221;) shows good email etiquette.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Language accuracy.<\/strong> There are a few errors: &#8220;Northest&#8221; (should be &#8220;Northeast&#8221;), &#8220;a great exposure&#8221; (this doesn&#8217;t sound quite natural\u2014in everyday English, we&#8217;d say &#8220;great exposure&#8221; without &#8220;a&#8221;), and &#8220;hotel room&#8221; where &#8220;hotel rooms&#8221; would fit better given the context. There&#8217;s also a missing comma before &#8220;so&#8221; in the third paragraph. None of these errors block understanding, but they add up to a response that&#8217;s noticeably less polished than the Score 5.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 3 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-3\">Score 3: A Partially Successful Response<\/h2>\n<p class=\"tooltip-instruction\">Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Dear Dean Ramirez,<\/p>\n<p>I want to let you know that our debate team <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">had been invited<span class=\"tooltip-text\">The tense doesn&#8217;t fit here\u2014&#8221;has been invited&#8221; would be correct.<\/span><\/span> to be in regional tournament in Boston, <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">the next month<span class=\"tooltip-text\">The extra article &#8220;the&#8221; and the comma don&#8217;t belong here. It should just be &#8220;next month.&#8221;<\/span><\/span>. It is <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">really important competetion<span class=\"tooltip-text\">&#8220;Really important&#8221; is too casual for an email to a dean. A phrase like &#8220;a highly competitive event&#8221; would be stronger. Also, &#8220;competetion&#8221; should be &#8220;competition.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> because many university teams will be there, and we can <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">make good name<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This doesn&#8217;t sound natural in English. We&#8217;d say &#8220;make a good name&#8221; or, better, &#8220;build our reputation.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> for our school.<\/p>\n<p>For the costs, I think we need aound $2,400. This is for the transporation, hotel, and also a regisration fee. <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">I am not sure of exact amount but I am pretty sure it is close to the number.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This weakens the request. When asking for funding, you want to sound confident and well-prepared, even if your numbers are estimates. Try: &#8220;We estimate the total cost at approximately $2,400.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Can you please aprove the funding before March 20th? That is when we need to register. Thank you for your help.<\/p>\n<p class=\"signoff\">Best,<br \/>Jordan Chen<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 3<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Communicative purpose and elaboration.<\/strong> The good news is that all three bullet points are addressed\u2014the writer clearly understands the task. But the details are thin. The tournament&#8217;s importance is described as &#8220;many university teams will be there,&#8221; which tells us it&#8217;s popular but not why that matters for this team or university. The cost paragraph gives a total but no real breakdown, and phrases like &#8220;I am not sure of exact amount&#8221; and &#8220;pretty sure it is close to the number&#8221; weaken the writer&#8217;s case instead of strengthening it. Adding specific numbers and confident language would help a lot here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Syntax and vocabulary.<\/strong> The range is noticeably more limited. Most sentences follow the same simple pattern without much variety. The phrase &#8220;make good name&#8221; doesn&#8217;t sound natural\u2014in English, we&#8217;d say &#8220;make a good name&#8221; or, better, &#8220;build our reputation.&#8221; Words like &#8220;really important&#8221; and &#8220;pretty sure&#8221; get the point across but are vague, and they make the email sound more casual than it should for writing to a dean.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social conventions.<\/strong> The greeting and closing are fine, but the body doesn&#8217;t quite match that same level of formality. Phrases like &#8220;really important&#8221; and &#8220;pretty sure&#8221; sound a bit too casual for an email to a dean. And &#8220;I am not sure of exact amount but I am pretty sure it is close to the number&#8221; comes across as uncertain\u2014when you&#8217;re requesting funding, you want to sound confident and well-prepared, even if your numbers are estimates. A small shift in tone here would make a real difference.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Language accuracy.<\/strong> There are noticeable errors that go beyond simple typos. &#8220;Had been invited&#8221; should be &#8220;has been invited&#8221; (the tense doesn&#8217;t fit here), &#8220;to be in regional tournament&#8221; is missing &#8220;a&#8221; or &#8220;the,&#8221; and &#8220;Boston, the next month&#8221; has an extra article and comma. The spelling errors\u2014&#8221;competetion,&#8221; &#8220;aound,&#8221; &#8220;transporation,&#8221; &#8220;regisration,&#8221; &#8220;aprove&#8221;\u2014suggest the writer isn&#8217;t fully comfortable with these words yet, rather than just typing quickly. These errors don&#8217;t make the response impossible to understand, but they do add up and hold it back from a higher score.<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"border-left: 4px solid #4d2079; background: #F9FAFB; padding: 1em 1.2em; margin: 1em 0; border-radius: 6px; box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0,0,0,0.05);\">\n<p><strong>Pro tip:<\/strong> If you find your writing looks similar to this Score 3, focus on two things: first, replace vague language (&#8220;really important,&#8221; &#8220;pretty sure&#8221;) with specific details. Second, practice spelling high-frequency words: &#8220;competition,&#8221; &#8220;registration,&#8221; &#8220;transportation,&#8221; &#8220;approve,&#8221; &#8220;approximately.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 2 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-2\">Score 2: A Mostly Unsuccessful Response<\/h2>\n<p class=\"tooltip-instruction\">Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Dear Dean Ramirez,<\/p>\n<p>I am the <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">captin of debate team<span class=\"tooltip-text\">&#8220;Captin&#8221; should be &#8220;captain,&#8221; and it&#8217;s missing an article\u2014&#8221;captain of the debate team.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> and <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">our team are invited<span class=\"tooltip-text\">The verb doesn&#8217;t match the subject\u2014&#8221;our team is invited&#8221; or &#8220;our team has been invited&#8221; would be correct.<\/span><\/span> to tournamen next month. <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">It have big importancy<span class=\"tooltip-text\">&#8220;It have&#8221; should be &#8220;It has,&#8221; and &#8220;importancy&#8221; isn&#8217;t a standard English word\u2014the correct form is &#8220;importance.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> because we can show our skill and compete with other univercity. The cost is maybe $2,400 for everythings.<\/p>\n<p>We need <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">make the register<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This doesn&#8217;t sound natural\u2014the writer likely means &#8220;register&#8221; or &#8220;complete the registration.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> before March 20th so <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">please can you give us the money<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This is too direct for a funding request to a dean. A softer phrasing like &#8220;I would appreciate your support&#8221; or &#8220;we would be grateful for funding&#8221; would work better here.<\/span><\/span>. Thank you.<\/p>\n<p class=\"signoff\">Jordan Chen<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 2<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Communicative purpose and elaboration.<\/strong> The writer does attempt all three bullet points, which shows an understanding of the task. However, none are developed with enough detail. The tournament is just &#8220;tournamen next month&#8221;\u2014no name, no location, no specifics. The explanation of importance (&#8220;show our skill and compete with other univercity&#8221;) is very general. The costs are a single number with no breakdown\u2014&#8221;maybe $2,400 for everythings&#8221;\u2014which doesn&#8217;t demonstrate deep planning and thought to the reader. The request is there, but &#8220;please can you give us the money&#8221; is more direct than the situation calls for.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Syntax and vocabulary.<\/strong> The sentences are short and follow the same pattern throughout, without much variety. The vocabulary is basic, and some words aren&#8217;t quite right. &#8220;Importancy&#8221; isn&#8217;t a standard English word\u2014the correct form is &#8220;importance.&#8221; &#8220;Make the register&#8221; doesn&#8217;t sound natural here\u2014the writer likely means &#8220;register&#8221; or &#8220;complete the registration.&#8221; Expanding the range of sentence types and word choices would strengthen this response.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social conventions.<\/strong> The greeting is a good choice (&#8220;Dear Dean Ramirez&#8221;), but the rest of the email doesn&#8217;t quite match that level of formality. &#8220;Please can you give us the money&#8221; is too direct for a funding request to a dean\u2014a softer phrasing like &#8220;I would appreciate your support&#8221; would work better here. There&#8217;s also no closing sentence before the sign-off, which makes the ending feel abrupt. A warmer, more polished tone throughout would help.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Language accuracy.<\/strong> There are several grammar and spelling issues that make the email harder to follow. The verb doesn&#8217;t match the subject in a couple of places: &#8220;our team are&#8221; (should be &#8220;our team is&#8221;), &#8220;It have&#8221; (should be &#8220;It has&#8221;), and &#8220;for everythings&#8221; (should be &#8220;everything&#8221;). There are also spelling errors: &#8220;captin,&#8221; &#8220;tournamen,&#8221; &#8220;univercity.&#8221; And &#8220;importancy&#8221; should be &#8220;importance.&#8221; Missing articles add to the difficulty\u2014&#8221;captin of debate team&#8221; should be &#8220;captain of the debate team.&#8221; These errors build up and make it harder for the reader to focus on the message.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 1 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-1\">Score 1: An Unsuccessful Response<\/h2>\n<p class=\"tooltip-instruction\">Hover over the highlighted text to see specific feedback.<\/p>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Hello,<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">Our debate team invited to tourament next month.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Missing words\u2014this should be &#8220;Our debate team has been invited to a tournament next month.&#8221;<\/span><\/span> <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">We need money for go.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">&#8220;Money for go&#8221; should be &#8220;money to go.&#8221; This isn&#8217;t a complete sentence.<\/span><\/span> <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">tournament is in other city<span class=\"tooltip-text\">Missing &#8220;the&#8221; before &#8220;other city,&#8221; and &#8220;tournament&#8221; should be capitalized since it starts a sentence.<\/span><\/span> and is very importent. Please help us for funding. <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">Need register soon.<span class=\"tooltip-text\">The subject (&#8220;we&#8221;) is missing, and &#8220;register&#8221; needs &#8220;to&#8221; before it\u2014&#8221;We need to register soon.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Thank you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 1<\/h3>\n<p><strong>Communicative purpose and elaboration.<\/strong> The writer makes an effort to mention the tournament and the need for funding, which shows some awareness of the task. However, there&#8217;s very little detail\u2014no tournament name, no location beyond &#8220;other city,&#8221; no explanation of why it matters, no cost information at all, and no specific deadline. To strengthen this, the writer would need to add their own details to each bullet point rather than staying at a very general level.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Syntax and vocabulary.<\/strong> The sentences are very short and incomplete, with a limited range of vocabulary. &#8220;We need money for go&#8221; isn&#8217;t a complete sentence, and &#8220;Need register soon&#8221; drops the subject (&#8220;we&#8221;) entirely. Every sentence follows the same short pattern. Building longer, more complete sentences\u2014and connecting ideas to each other\u2014would make a big difference here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Social conventions.<\/strong> The greeting (&#8220;Hello&#8221; with no name) and the sign-off (&#8220;Thank you&#8221; with no closing phrase or sender name) are minimal. The email doesn&#8217;t have the structure or tone that a reader like Dean Ramirez would expect\u2014there&#8217;s no sense of who&#8217;s writing or why the request matters. Adding a proper greeting, a brief introduction, and a polite closing would go a long way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Language accuracy.<\/strong> There are several errors that make the message hard to follow. &#8220;Our debate team invited&#8221; is missing words\u2014it should be &#8220;has been invited.&#8221; &#8220;Money for go&#8221; should be &#8220;money to go.&#8221; &#8220;tournament is in other city&#8221; is missing &#8220;the&#8221; and starts with a lowercase letter. &#8220;Importent&#8221; should be &#8220;important,&#8221; and &#8220;Please help us for funding&#8221; uses the wrong connecting word (should be &#8220;with funding&#8221;). Practicing these common patterns\u2014especially verb forms and small connecting words\u2014would help the most.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ==================== SCORE 0 ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"score-0\">Score 0: No Scorable Response<\/h2>\n<div class=\"sample-response\">\n<div class=\"email-header\">\n<strong>To:<\/strong> Dean Ramirez<br \/>\n<strong>Subject:<\/strong> Tournament funding request\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"greeting\">Hi Dean Ramirez,<\/p>\n<p>I am writing to you about <span class=\"tooltip-highlight improve\" tabindex=\"0\">compete in a regional tournament next month, but you need funding from the university to cover travel and accommodation expenses<span class=\"tooltip-text\">This is copied almost word-for-word from the prompt. The writer didn&#8217;t even change &#8220;you&#8221; to &#8220;we&#8221; or &#8220;I.&#8221;<\/span><\/span>. The deadline is in two week.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Why this is a Score 0<\/h3>\n<p>At first glance, this might look like a real response\u2014it has a greeting, it mentions the tournament, and the English is partially comprehensible. But look more closely: almost every word is <strong>copied directly from the prompt<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Compare &#8220;compete in a regional tournament next month, but you need funding from the university to cover travel and accommodation expenses&#8221; with the original prompt text. It&#8217;s nearly verbatim\u2014and the writer didn&#8217;t even adjust the pronoun from &#8220;you&#8221; to &#8220;we&#8221; or &#8220;I.&#8221; The only original content is &#8220;I am writing to you about.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The ETS rubric at Score 1 flags responses where &#8220;any coherent language is mostly borrowed from the stimulus.&#8221; A Score 0 goes further\u2014there is essentially <strong>no original language<\/strong> here. The writer has not described the tournament in their own words, has not provided any cost breakdown, and has not made a request. None of the three bullet points are addressed with original content.<\/p>\n<p>This is an important warning: <strong>copying from the prompt will not help your score.<\/strong> Even if the words are technically English and the sentences are partially grammatical, ETS is looking for your original ideas expressed in your own language. A short but genuine attempt will always score higher than a longer copy-paste.<\/p>\n<blockquote style=\"border-left: 4px solid #4d2079; background: #F9FAFB; padding: 1em 1.2em; margin: 1em 0; border-radius: 6px; box-shadow: 0 1px 2px rgba(0,0,0,0.05);\">\n<p><strong>Pro tip:<\/strong> If you&#8217;re running out of time or feel stuck, write even just two or three original sentences addressing the bullet points. A genuine but brief response will earn more credit than copied text, no matter how polished the copied text looks.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><!-- ==================== KEY TAKEAWAYS ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"takeaways\">Key Takeaways<\/h2>\n<p>Here&#8217;s a summary of what separates each score level and what to focus on if you&#8217;re aiming to move up:<\/p>\n<div class=\"table-responsive\">\n<table style=\"border-collapse: collapse; margin: 1em 0;\">\n<thead>\n<tr style=\"background-color: #4D2079; color: white;\">\n<th style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Score<\/th>\n<th style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">What It Looks Like<\/th>\n<th style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">To Move Up, Focus On&#8230;<\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>5<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">All bullet points addressed with specific, well-developed elaboration. Varied sentence structures. Appropriate, consistent register. Near-zero errors.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">You&#8217;re at the top\u2014maintain this level by practicing under timed conditions.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr style=\"background-color: #f9f9f9;\">\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>4<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">All bullet points addressed but with less depth. Adequate vocabulary. Mostly appropriate register. A few minor errors.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Add more specific details to your elaboration. Vary your sentence structures\u2014avoid short, choppy sequences.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>3<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Bullet points addressed superficially. Limited vocabulary range. Register inconsistencies (too casual or uncertain). Noticeable errors in spelling and grammar.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Replace vague language with concrete details. Practice word-level accuracy for common email vocabulary. Match your tone to the audience.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr style=\"background-color: #f9f9f9;\">\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>2<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Bullet points mentioned but not developed. Very limited vocabulary. Tone doesn&#8217;t match the audience. Frequent errors.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Focus on task completion first\u2014make sure every bullet point gets a real response. Build core vocabulary and sentence patterns.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>1<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Task only loosely addressed. Very short, incomplete sentences. No clear email format. Frequent errors make meaning unclear.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Practice writing complete sentences that respond directly to prompt bullet points. Build basic email structure (greeting, body, closing).<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr style=\"background-color: #f9f9f9;\">\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\"><strong>0<\/strong><\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Blank, off-topic, or copied from the prompt. No original content.<\/td>\n<td style=\"padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #ddd;\">Write your own words. Even a few original sentences will score higher than copied text.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- ==================== FAQ ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"faq\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">Do I need perfect grammar to get a Score 5?<\/h3>\n<p>No. The rubric explicitly allows for &#8220;common typos or common misspellings&#8221; at the Score 5 level\u2014the kind of minor errors that any competent writer might make under timed conditions. Look at our Score 5 sample: it has two small typos (&#8220;particpating&#8221; and &#8220;convenence&#8221;) and still earns the top score. What matters at Score 5 is the overall quality of your ideas, vocabulary, sentence variety, and register\u2014not flawless mechanics.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">How long should my Write an Email response be?<\/h3>\n<p>Aim for <strong>100-120 words<\/strong>. That&#8217;s enough to address all three bullet points with two or more sentences each, plus a greeting, opening sentence, and closing. Our Score 5 response is about 115 words. But length alone doesn&#8217;t determine your score\u2014a short, focused response with strong content will outscore a longer response full of vague filler or repeated ideas.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: #C5168C;\">What&#8217;s the biggest difference between a Score 3 and a Score 4?<\/h3>\n<p>Two things stand out. First, <strong>elaboration quality<\/strong>: a Score 4 gives adequate details to support each point, while a Score 3 tends to state ideas without developing them (&#8220;It is really important&#8221; vs. explaining specifically why). Second, <strong>register consistency<\/strong>: a Score 3 often slips into overly casual language (&#8220;really important,&#8221; &#8220;pretty sure&#8221;) that doesn&#8217;t match the audience, while a Score 4 maintains a more appropriate tone throughout.<\/p>\n<p><!-- ==================== WHAT'S NEXT ==================== --><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: #4D2079;\" id=\"whats-next\">What&#8217;s Next?<\/h2>\n<p>Now that you&#8217;ve seen what each score level looks like, the best next step is to practice writing your own responses and compare them against these samples.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re looking for more structure, check out our <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-writing-templates\/\">TOEFL Writing Templates and phrase menus<\/a><\/strong> guide\u2014it gives you ready-to-use language for five different Write an Email task types, from making requests to navigating disagreements.<\/p>\n<p>And when you&#8217;re ready for feedback on your own writing, <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/toefl.magoosh.com\/plans\">Magoosh TOEFL Premium<\/a><\/strong> includes unlimited AI-powered scoring and feedback for Write an Email tasks. You can write as many practice responses as you want and get detailed, rubric-aligned feedback on each one\u2014so you can see exactly where you&#8217;re scoring and what to improve.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does a high-scoring TOEFL Write an Email response actually look like? And just as importantly\u2014what does a low-scoring one look like? It&#8217;s one thing to read the ETS scoring rubric and see phrases like &#8220;effective sentence variety&#8221; or &#8220;an accumulation of errors in sentence structure.&#8221; It&#8217;s another thing entirely to see those descriptions in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13619],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[13628],"class_list":["post-13953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v21.7 (Yoast SEO v21.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>TOEFL Write an Email Sample Responses - Magoosh Blog \u2013 TOEFL\u00ae\ufe0f Test<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sample TOEFL Write an Email responses for every score level, with commentary explaining what works, what doesn&#039;t, and how to improve.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"TOEFL Write an Email Sample Responses\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sample TOEFL Write an Email responses for every score level, with commentary explaining what works, what doesn&#039;t, and how to improve.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Magoosh Blog \u2013 TOEFL\u00ae\ufe0f Test\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/MagooshTOEFL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-03-09T17:30:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/files\/2020\/08\/TOEFLIntegratedWritingHeader.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lucas Fink\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@MagooshTOEFL\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@MagooshTOEFL\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lucas Fink\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"17 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/magoosh.com\/toefl\/toefl-write-an-email-sample-responses\/\",\"name\":\"TOEFL Write an Email Sample Responses - 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